What do you get if you cross two cows, a green bucket, an unfit overweight mother of 4 and an electric fence together? MAYHEM THATS WHAT.
My beloved soon to be mince meat cow Sunday Roast and her accomplice Lotsa have just given me hell. Sunday broke through our fence (yet again) into the common next door. I tried to get her out but no she wouldn't move.
So i ring the hubby who tells me to try again and take some grapefruit with me and coax her out. Little old me runs out with a green bucket (STUPID MOVE NUMBER 1) gets a few grapefruit and heads over our paddock and tries again. After about 10 minutes of me calling Sunday every name imaginable, she finally decides to come along and play nice. Through the gate with out a hitch and has a rub and a grapefruit for being good (STUPID MOVE NUMBER 2).
Now just to clarify so i don't look like a wimp, this cow is taller then me and is so fat it is scarey, plus she has the added bonus of two large horns. Well i gave Lotsa a grapefruit too as she had been the nice cow and hadn't gone out into another paddock (STUPID MOVE NUMBER 3). This of course meant i had no more grapefruit to give Sunday.
Sunday now associates the bucket with food..... can you see where i am going here with this. I turned my back and started heading back to the house yard gate about 100mtrs away, (small gate with an electic fence wire across it that you have to duck right under to get through or do a high jump to get over.
Of course i am swinging the bucket as i am proud of getting her back (STUPID MOVE NUMBER 4). Next thing i hear this thumping as Sunday comes bowling over to get more food. I spin around and yell at her and wave the bucket like mad to make her stop and low and behold she does.
Feeling pretty confident now that i am a cow whisperer i turned and with my chest out and my head held high stroll to about 2mtrs from the gate. Once again i start to hear the thumping noise. Not only was Sunday charging with horns down but Lotsa had joined the crusade. I screamed at them, waved the bucket like mad but did they stop no. They continued to charge at me.
In my confusion as to why they didn't stop (after all i was the great cow whisperer now), i paniced (STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER 5) and ran towards the gate. Having no time to sqaut right down under the electric fence i did a complete dive, bucket and all straight onto my gut and boobs (STUPID MISTAKE NUMBER 6). Now if you are a woman you will truly understand the pain of doing this to your boobs. NOT NICE.
Sunday stopped just at the wire, mooed at me and then snorted as though she was as proud as punch. Lotsa just walked away and didn't really care. So there i am laying on the ground face first unable to breath as i am sure i just spewed my lungs up thinking "wait til i get my hands on my hubby".
Hubby gets a phone call from a very irrate me and is given the options of
1. CUT THAT BLOODY COWS LEGS OFF
2. CUT HER BLOODY HORNS OFF
3. FIX YOUR STUPID BLOODY FENCES SUNNY JIM cause this little fat duck aint going to be playing with the cows no more. (WISE MOVE NUMBER 1).
Anyway to sum it all up. My nipples hit my back bone, my ribs feel as though i have broken them, and i am soooooooooo over cows.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Yippee! that's right Yippee! I have created... Not one, not two, not even three but 7 cards. I have been playing in my craft room the last couple of days and loving it. Don't you just love it when inspiration hits and you can relax and just go with the flow? I certainly do.
Thought I would share with you my creations.
I have to apologise for the images not being straight or neat. Grace decided to help me by scanning them all in. Why is it that they never look as good on screen as they do in real life.?Anyway enough of this typing and playing i am off to create some more.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Housework built up, craft room empty, bags under eyes, cranky husband, new bed partner and empty wallet. It can only mean one thing..... Yup that's right i have a sick kid. Ashley god love him has had a cough that has been coming and going for 3 weeks. Poor little bugger seems to be getting over it and BAM! it hits him again. I finally got into the doctors and Ashley is now on antibiotics for Bronchitis. Fingers crossed that this is the answer as if he doesn't improve in 72hrs I have to take him back to the doctors for chest x-rays and a whooping cough test. I was told the whooping cough test isn't the nicest of things so I am praying that we don't have to go down that line.
I am trying my hardest to get Ashley comfortable and settled enough that I can get into my craft room and knock up a couple of cards while the mojo is still hanging around. Oh and I can't forget the housework can I lol.
Monday, September 5, 2011
I have to admit to being a kangaroo short of a top paddock. Sometimes i have moments of genius (well i think they are) and then the rest of the time i have the full six pack but lack the plastic rings that holds the six pack together.
I made a heap of cards for different birthdays and occasions lately but in my rush to meet deadlines and parties i didn't take photos of them or scan them. How stoopid is that.....?
So instead of having 7 cards to show you I only have 2.
This card i made for my mother inlaw. I used some K & Co papers that i have had for ages and love. It was really nice putting this one together. I must mention that i took the idea from here. This lady is so clever and her cards are simply beautiful and quick and easy to make. I finally managed to find a white gel pen in this town and had a ball putting the fake stitching on. I really like the look it gives to a card. SO hold on as i think there will be a lot more white ink being splashed and dashed around.
This cute little girl is for my neice Sarah. I think this little girl is the most gorgeous stamp and i love getting her out to play with every now and then. I used staming up markers to colour her in as i am still not skilled enough with my copics lol. The papers are bits and peices i had laying around. I think they have come together nicely.
Anyway that is it for me. I am hoping to make some more cards tonight and fingers crossed i scan the suckers as soon as they are finished.